Lately, I have found myself discerning in a wide variety of aspects of my life. The levels of importance of these decisions vary from buying in bulk for toilet paper, to whether or not to continue a damaged relationship. Everyday I make decisions, for better or for worse that affect me personally and more often than not, affect the people around me. The mundane (bulk toilet paper issues) have little impact on others, but the bigger ones do. Still, I find that in the world of decisiveness that we live in, I have been making these decisions in the mindset that so many of us do-what is "right" and what is "fair."
This, in of itself, is not a bad motto to live by. We want to do what is right and what is fair. We can to live as people for others, while protecting ourselves as well. In the dog-eat-dog world that we corporate climbers live in, the latter of that statement proves to be the more consistent one. And if that is the mindset of everyone else around us, we would be fools not to adopt and acclimate-right?
The problem in this is that our judgement of what is fair, is based off of our understanding of the world. Is it fair that Tina got a promotion over me, when my perception tells me that I have worked just as hard? Is it right that I am going to pick up medicine for a friend who would never do the same for me if asked? Is it fair that my sister gets praise for the gift that we went in on together? Is it right that I will never call the man I went on a blind date with last night?
All of these scenarios could be a yes. Or they could be a no. Again, it is all in your own eyes.
The problem with this is that you are biased. Yes you, and hey guess what I am too. Even the most self aware one of us can see that he or she will always relate things to his or her own understanding first.
So how do we know if our decision is truly the best one? Sometimes you don't. Sometimes whats right and what is fair will still give you a bad gut feeling. Sometimes it will be easy. Sometimes it wont. But generally speaking, if the decisions you make reflect the life that Jesus wanted you to live, your gut will guide the way.
I have a relationship in my life that drains me. It drains me physically, emotionally, and mentally. Every single person in my life has told me to stop. To not continue, to cut ties. My gut tells me this is not right. I don't think that in this case, it is what Jesus wants me to do just yet. even though it would be "fair" for me to halt communication and it would be "right" to stop helping. This particular relationship is one of those when the scenario of right/fair/Jesus does not add up. To stay true to myself and the person I believe I am called to be; I adjust. I try my best to protect myself, while still following through with my gut instincts.
Not every relationship and decision is this complicated. It can be really easy to follow. Most of our lives have been mad up of easy, black or white decisions. Using history as a guide, we know that life gets more complicated as we get older. The world mutes itself into several shades of grey, and we are left to our own devices. The earlier we get into the habit of consulting our "Jesus radar" in decisions, the easier it will be.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3: 5-6
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