Grind

One of the best parts of my job is that I work from home. Working in publishing is a dream come true. I am that person who makes lists, because it feels oh-so-good to cross something off of it. On my less productive days my lists include brushing my teeth and straightening my hair. My more productive days include customer visits and order placing.

This time of year is particularly busy. I often need to remind myself that the late nights and weekends spent at work now are the one thing I don't love about my job. Doing this for a few months out of the year allows me the freedom of finishing my day at four every other month, and not having a commute home.

But for now, I will dream of the months where I can meet my best friend for breakfast at seven, and start my work day at eight. 

Bahston

East coast norms still catch me off guard.

My four years living out here have given me buzz word historical stories to lean on like a native “Yes, Abigail Adams, DID live in Weymouth,” I can tell you the quickest back route to 3A on a Friday afternoon, and I have a strong opinion on Mary Lou’s versus Dunkin Donuts. My Minnesotan nature is hard to lose. Inevitably, when I am being introduced, the introducee will make reference to how I am not from here. I am always okay with this.

After weekends like this, where we have multiple functions with my husbands (weird, that is the first time I typed that) coworkers, I find myself spending Sundays exhausted by my poser self that came out over the weekend. I think I even tried to drop a casual, wicked,  into a conversation. Even now, I have a hard time getting used to the aggressive advice giving, the blank stares as you smile at strangers, and the air of lviing in the best state in the US.

But damn, it sure is a pretty place to live.

For me

It's been a long time since I wrote for the fun of it. I have written for work, for Elite, and for the purpose of getting a book off of the ground-but in the process, I have lost my love of writing. 

I used to get a lot of pride from finding the best way to string together a thought.Writing was a puzzle for me. It was a game to see how best I could make the words dance off of the paper. I loved the feeling of reading the lines out loud and saying damn, that is awesome.

I have spent a lot of time and energy concerning myself with finding a niche. Creating a blog around a certain topic, only to get bored or question my expertise on the matter. Pitching articles on what is trending, rather than what I am excited about.

The internet is full of advice on how to write. Some writers say it is important to write at teh same time every day. Others, when the mood strikes. Some say to write about what you know, and other tell you not to limit your creativity. 

How do I know what to do? Which path do I follow?

For starters, I think I will stay basic. I will write about whatever the heck I feel like writing about. I will write not to get published, I will write because I love it. I will write because the only way I will improve is by practice.

And lastly, I will write because I don't know what I think until I read what I write.

Everything you need to know about Venezuela

The Back Story

Venezuela is a country in the northern coast of South America. Since the discovery of oil in the 20th century, Venezuela has been one of the worlds leading exporter of oil. Oil is not only their main export, but also the leading generator of revenue for the government. Much of the country's history has fluctuated with the stability and instability of the oil industry.

Oil remains a constant and driving force behind Venezuela's political, social and economic scenes. From 1998-2013 Hugo Chavez was the president (with the exception of a brief oust in 2002). President Chavez served as president until his death in March 2013 after a battle with cancer.

The April 2013 elections elected current president Nicolas Maduro with 50.61% of the popular vote. Opponent Henrique Capriles Randoski had 49.12% of the vote. The elections were contested, but eventually upheld by the Supreme Court of Venezuela. Prior to the elections, Maduro was the Vice President to Chavez and is known as the handpicked successor to the Chavez administration.

How it began

February 12th, 2014 marked the beginning of the large scale protests in Caracas as students took to the streets protesting the state of the economic and social well being of the country. This was not the first protest, in actuality smaller protests have been happening around the country since January. The face of the opposition is Venezuelan politician Leopoldo Lopez. Protesters are demanding changes to the growing crime rates, record high inflation and the collapse of living standards in Venezuela.

Certain areas of the country are reporting drastically high crime rates, threatening the safety of civilians. A 2009 report showed that homicide rates were 49.0 per 100,000 citizens-making it the 5th most dangerous country in the world. Inflation rates have reached 56% in January 2014, and continue to be on the rise. Perhaps most notably, there is a dramatic shortage of basic goods in parts of the country-leaving citizens unable to access cooking oil, flour, sugar, toilet paper, medicine and other goods.

Government Response

After the February 12th protests, officials had Leopoldo Lopez arrested on a variety of charges, ranging from arson to terrorism. .Maduro has publicly blamed the protests and unrest of his country on a ploy by the United States government to overturn his socialist regime.

"I have ordered the foreign ministry to proceed with declaring those three consular officials persona non grata and expelling them from the country. Let them go conspire in Washington!" 

On February 16th, three US diplomats were expelled from the country and given 48 hours to leave. The diplomats were accused of aiding protesters and plotting against the government. In September Maduro expelled three other US diplomats and made a speech on national television announcing the expulsion:

 "Yankees go home! Get out of Venezuela! Get out of here! I don't care what actions the government of Barack Obama takes."

Future

Relationships: When to move forward or backward in conflict

Relationships: What is healthy, what is toxic, how you know if someone is good for you now vs good for you forever

We are the generation twice removed from the Cleavers; the aftermath of the rise in divorce rates. We have seen all kinds of relationship modeled for us. In some ways, this transparency of what happens in other marriages is helpful, but it also creates uncertainties when trying to create our own. Being a member of Gen Y can feel like you are navigating the relationship minefield blindfolded, unsure of when to move forward or backwards once problems arise.

When is it appropriate to stick things out? When do we back away? How do we know if someone is worth sticking it out for the future?

We are aware that relationships are difficult, and that people are not perfect. We want the passion, the chemistry, the conversation and the love-but we know that with that comes another side to that person. We know that life happens, that people change, and that relationships are hard. 

All this being said, there are certain signs that many people miss. Awareness of a few key traits will save you the heartache later down the road. 

Owning your Emotions vs. Emotional Blackmail

Emotions are a fragile part of our psyche. No matter where you hold them (on your sleeve, inside your heart) your emotions are potentially the most integral part of how you navigate different situations in your life. Being such important facets, they should be used as a way to express yourself. 

The people in your life fall in all categories of the sensitivity spectrum. Knowing where you are will help you express yourself in conflict. Being a sensitive person, I am aware that in conflict, this can cloud how I see situations. Similarly, someone who is not as sensitive, might not see how his/her words affect others. Your ability to express this maturely will do wonders when having a difficult time.

A person using their emotions in a toxic manner should be avoided. This manipulative mechanism breeds pain. This person may mean to say "I wish you would listen to me," but it comes out "I can't believe I am dating someone who is such a bad listener." 

This manipulation (and exaggeration) of emotions comes a place of drama and insecurity. Threatening the relationship to receive attention is a premeditated way to have someone feel guilty about more than the situation at hand.

Heated Discussion vs. Dirty Fighting

Eloquence is a gift. Some people have a natural knack for expressing themselves and explaining their point of view. Don't mistake your ability to explain yourself as a sign of being "right." It is important to remember that while you may be able to process and work through your emotions verbally, not everyone is able to do this on the spot. Give your partner the time to process as he/she needs. Pushing someone to talk when they haven't processed will never end well.

When not given the time to calm down and process, people say things out of anger. Heated discussion and arguments are a normal part of the relationship process; but using your words to hurt someone should not be. Heated discussion or not, name calling, throwing out wild accusations and any sort of blame casting is inexcusable. Dirty fighting is a sign that you don't actually want to fix the problem, you want someone to feel pain.

Butting Heads vs. Conflict Buzz

Conflict is a natural part of having a relationship. You will never wholly agree on every discussion. You might argue and never come to a consensus. That is okay. You grew up differently, and have experiences that have shaped who you are as a person as well as what your opinions are on a variety of subject. At times you may learn something from your partner, or they you. Other times you will both stand your ground on opposite sides of the fence and never meet. There is nothing wrong with this, so long as your whole relationship doesn't revolve around conflict.

Some people actively seek out conflict in their relationships. Often a sign of immaturity, if everything becomes a battle, your relationship will not (and should not) survive. There could be a variety of reasons for seeking conflict-for attention, out of boredom, to fill an emotional void etc. Whatever the reason, getting high off of constant conflict is unhealthy. 

Remember that no relationship is perfect, because no person is perfect. Differences are highlighted when you show a person your true colors; which is a wonderful part of the dating process. Don't back away at the first sign of imperfection, but know that you are getting to know a person at their core. When we shed our glossy facade of who we want to be perceived as, that is when we start to figure out if a relationship is good for now vs. good for the future. Take the time to get to know someone, but respect yourself in the process. Know when to step away from conflict, and when to work through it. 

Friendship Redefined: When to cut ties and with who

Redefining Friendship: When to cut ties and when to hold on (working title)

By your mid twenties, you have accumulated friendships from every avenue in your life. You have friends from your hometown, your high school, from college and from your professional life. You have friends that you just met and connected deeply with, and friends that you cannot fathom parting ways from because of your history.

Unfortunately, not all of these friendships are in your best interest to devote your time to maintaining. You will never have as much free time and resources as you do now. Most of us have nothing holding us back, where in the future we will be juggling the demands of a job, a family a spouse. When your time is limited, you will want to know that the friendships you have cultivated throughout the years are in your best interest.

Use your twenties to take a critical looks at the relationships in your life. Are using your energy on a friend who brings you up or tears you down? Are you spending a significant amount of time with people that inspire you, or with people that you share a history with (and potentially nothing else)?

Dreams and Nonbelievers

Your twenties are for realizing your dreams. They are for dreaming big, planning for the future and trying to figure out what makes you, uniquely you. When you talk about your dreams, your big, shoot for the stars life aspirations, how does your friend respond? Is she immediately excited for you? Does she love seeing you come alive and encourages you to move forward? Or does she take a critical stance, and suggest that you aim lower?

There is a time and a place for being practical, but discussions about your dreams in not one of those times. If you settle on the most practical path, you rarely unlock your dreams for the future.

So dream big. Visualize your future in the way that makes you the happiest. Take little steps every day to make that happen. If you have a friend who does anything but support, love and encourage you-than perhaps you need to take a look at the importance of that friendship.

Attitude

My mother, wise woman that she is, told me to surround yourself with people that make you feel great at the end of a conversation. It is truly a gift when you have friends that you can talk to about anything. Friends that you can turn to for relationship advice, family issues, and to pick apart your latest horoscope. But lets take that a step further. How do you feel after talking to that person?

If your friend is someone who you feel heard, important to, and empowered from-congratulations, you have found yourself a true friend. If you leave conversation more stressed than when you entered then, or drained, you may want to reevaluate this friendship. No matter how huge the issue you or she have going on, a cathartic chat with your friend should always make you feel better. You may not solve the worlds problems, but you should feel at least a smidgen better than when you started the original conversation.

Convenience

Some of our friends we keep because of our literal proximity to that person. They are friends that we get together with because they live in our neighborhood, go to the same gym, work in the same office. Most of our friendships likely started this way, and then life changes has put them in other categories. Friendships like this are beautiful because these people know the daily details of your life that you might not share with your friend who you talk to a few times a month.

Aside from being a part of your daily repertoire, who is this person to you? If he or she lived across the country, would you still be as close? Would you crave their opinions, listening skills and friendship if proximity wasn't a given? The hallmark of a true friend is someone that you can pick up where you left off, no matter the distance.

At the end of the day, life is really hard. If it isn't for you yet, I can assure you that life will (unfortunately) complicate itself in the future. When this happens, you want to be certain the friends you have surrounded yourself with and have devoted your time to are the ones that will lift you up when life brings you down. Think critically about the energy you are putting into your relationships now, they will be the people you will need to turn to in the future.

Habits that Hold You Back: Why time and money can't be your excuses not to live

My mom has always told me that you will never have enough time or enough money. If you are waiting for either of those things, you will never get anything done.

Let’s get those excuses out of the way. Granted, there are times that those two things are holding us back from what we want to do. Of course we can't backpack around Europe with any money for a plane ticket. Of course we can’t become a foster parent with a full time job and school. But the things that we really want to do, the ones that light our souls on fire, there will always be a way to make those things happen. And 2014 can be your year to do so if you let it.

Likely, it is not your time or money that is holding you back, it is the habits that you have formed in your life that eat away at those principal resources. Here is a list of the most common New Year’s Resolutions for our age group. If you are resolving yourself to make a change this year, don't let time and money stop you from achieving your goals.

Get Fit.

"I really want to get fit, but I have no time to go to the gym."

You might be busy. You might be taking a full course load, be working full time and have a whole gamut of other responsibilities to attend to. I can assure you that there is someone busier than you who is doing it. If this is truly a goal of yours, you will make it happen in your busy life. Go on a half hour run at lunchtime. Start cooking clean meals. Make small changes that work within your lifestyle.

"I have no money to join a gym."

Gyms can be really expensive. Depending on where you live, they can range from $10-$200. Do some research. If there is not a gym in your area that can fit in your budget, remember that you can run outside for free. Use your own body weight to tone your muscles, and YouTube some workout videos.

Save Money.

This can be really hard for most of us who are just embarking on our professional careers. We have loans to pay back, bills to pay, and new expenses keep popping up out of nowhere. My best advice for this is to make sure that no matter what, you are putting money into a 401k or 403b. Even if times are tight, have it set up where you don't see the money ever hit your account. Get used to living on less, and you will not notice that it is gone.

If you are extra ambitious, set up an IRA. Talk to a financial adviser and see what your options are. You will never regret saving this money in the future. If you want to start a bit smaller than this, try cutting out a few coffee drinks a week. Skip the latte at Starbucks, there is milk on the counter behind you. Or better yet, make it at home. You will be amazed as to how much you save by making small changes.

Find Love.

In order for this one to fall into place, first you need to ask yourself if you are your best self-right now. If you have things you want to improve, improve them. Work on yourself, and becoming a person that you love. You want to attract the right person, and you can’t do that if you don’t even like the person that you are.

Make the changes. Spend time finding out what your real interests and passions are. Find out what makes you tick, and what sets you apart from your friends. Become the confident person that you are on the aside, and accept your quirks.

When in doubt, just hone your inner Carrie Bradshaw:

"But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you love, well, that's just fabulous."